garden relic

door to somewhere

catch me some sun

professional over personal stress

it can be more stressful at home than at work.

stress of the heart is worse than that of the mind.

when things get a little too heated in the office, you can always rely on the fact that the workday will end. and that your relationship with an annoying colleague or an unrelenting boss can be considered superficial and purely professional and therefore unimportant. and all the headache can take a backseat -- even if only for a few hours, until the sun rises and you're back on your way to work, numb and calloused.

when the time arrives you get fed up, you can raise the finger and have them kiss your pasty white ass as you walk away into uncertainty, yet with pride and dignity intact.

however when it comes to family, friends and loved ones, a totally different scenario takes place. the dynamics are more complex. and the relationships, seriously complicated.

or perhaps it's just me...

with this group, a grunt can mean disrespect. a heavy sigh, an insult. an exasperated curse, a serious violation of everything comprising the relationship, be it a bond formed 5-years, 10-years, or 20-years past. and you carry all the discomfort, heartache, grudge and guilt with you -- to the office, to the toilet, to lunchtime and even to bedtime, where replays of good times and bad times struggle and argue for a verdict of forgiveness or abandonment, an admission or a denial. and where either decision can be life-changing.

the stress it creates can be enormous. and it just drives your friggin mind to the edge; to the point where you find yourself standing on a high cliff screaming, "BWISIT!"

night reading

television at the speed of light

the pig is snorting

finally free and surprisingly busy to even update my blog... 2007 took off faster than i had expected or planned. and it got me scrambling towards an overflowing source of opportunities even before the tanning lotion was out. i find myself running abreast with the corporate rats, albeit with more freedom to go off-track and select my route on impulse. i am free of a boss, yet somehow arrive at being enslaved by someone more demanding and ambitious -- myself.

i had planned ahead for this year. and less than a full month into the new year, direction shifted. goals, front-loaded. priorities, shuffled. and so i ask myself if this is really the pace i want to go...

it may be too soon to answer that now. it may be too soon to answer that anytime... i guess flexibility is the key. adaptiveness, the name of the game. i've burnt myself out on too many occasions in the past for not checking my pulse. a healthy regular check-up is in order.

eleven months left to the year. and so much excitement awaits.

the pig is snorting.