dreamcatcher

sidewalk miracles

2007-09-14T13:49:00.000+08:00

today, i witnessed a city cop walk a little girl of about six or seven across a busy street. she was in her uniform and had an aptly small yet colorful backpack. he was in his blue and white uniform, an attire not always associated with gallant behavior.

though evidently not father and daughter, they held hands crossing the pedestrian lane; her head bobbing with each step, his strides wide enough to keep pace with her little ones.

once across, she looked up at him and raised her small hand, her bangs sliding out of her eyes. he raised his own rough palm as she gave him a cool high five for becoming her brave knight.

she continued on her way to school. he moved back to his post. and a thin ray of sunshine continued to gleam at the empty sidewalk of metro manila.

quote of the week

2007-08-13T10:31:00.000+08:00

life is a roller coaster. you can either scream every time you hit a bump or you can throw your hands up in the air and enjoy it.

michael jackson IN CEBU!

2007-07-30T16:04:00.000+08:00

found this posted in an american blog. hilarious! hahaha...

who can dispute now that the philippines is the world's number 1 supplier of entertainment? :P i am truly amazed this was accomplished in a prison.

enjoy!

glumbert.com - Prison Thriller

coffee connossieur (pretentious me)

2007-07-19T20:37:00.000+08:00

i got invited to join a group in lipa (batangas) that's supposed to evaluate different coffee blends for a new brand, intended to be launched as a fundraising product. (i just had to state that last phrase so as to appease my old colleagues from nestlé.)

if i remember correctly we were served 7 different blends combining varied roasts of barako, robusta and arabica. just like in wine tasting, we were encouraged to follow the 3-S procedure: sip, swirl, spit. i believe nobody heeded the advice. we sipped and savored the coffee as if we were all comfortably seated in a starbucks, nonchalantly discussing the issues of the world.

i, of course, know nothing of coffee, save for what an average consumer would already be aware of. so i scribbled down my scores, comparing one blend against another. based my ratings on personal preference rather than unbiased evaluation. and enjoyed the privilege of having to gulp down free coffee.

after a while though, the bladder could only take so much. this is what got left behind on our table.

i had to regret my disobedience as my system short-circuited after a burst of caffeinated energy. the drive to manila was unpleasantly exhausting.

wala lang

2007-07-19T20:33:00.000+08:00

positivism is the key...
but extreme positivism is the right key in the right hole...

apparently, my mind is cruising on a different plane again.

weekly quotes and fruitful weekends

2007-06-24T20:49:00.001+08:00

my calendar has those weekly inspirational quotes that are supposed to somehow fire up one's passions and ambitions. for this week it says,

when you achieve your dream, pursue another dream. that's how to live a life of adventure.

tell me... has any of you achieved a dream? i mean, like a real accomplishment you can actually feel fulfilled about?

well... i haven't.

and this quote sucks.

'cause it either makes you dream small (also read: easily attainable), or simply trivializes your worthy accomplishment.

anyway... moving on... can't wait for next week's quote.

***

on other (much better) matters... just came from a very meaningful retreat this weekend. and that really fired me up. a million times more than that lousy quote had. so if you bump into me this week, head in the clouds, crazy smile on the face, feet gliding above ground, just wave. and say, hi.

i'll be sure to wave back. :)

glory and gloria

2007-06-09T20:45:00.000+08:00

tonight, i discovered that i am not after glory for the sake of glory. i do not wish to reach the top too quickly and without effort. tonight, i realized that i do what i do because i'm willing to learn. and progress. at a good pace. and to take appropriate credit for what i produce. good or bad. to sulk briefly in failure. or to bask magnificently in victory.

this makes me both a proud person and a noble one (and doubly proud because i say i am noble). but really, it's an ego that wants its reward in the purest form. snooty for assistance. yet sincere in trying to achieve perfection--elusive as it may be. no plagiarizing. no lip-synching. no knock-offs.

***

i read in the inquirer today this distasteful caption (read the paragraph below the photo: "WHAT WAS SHE THINKING?")

you see, it's comments like this that further make us lose our dignity as a people. the inquirer is one of the top 3 newsprints in the country, and yet what you read on the front page today is someone's own and personal opinon about gloria's attire--using a figure of speech too! how fancy! for an institution that's supposed to report unbiased news based purely on facts!

while most will probably agree that the dress is indeed abhoring for a president, bringing the spotlight to it does not exactly make it look better. in fact it does the opposite, as such a mockery of our already trampled and tarnished institutions is printed on millions of copies nationwide. and we wonder why the rest of the world harldy respects us.

the media has a huge responsibility in nation building. and we've seen it serve as instruments of societal decay. example: bad english as popularized by jimmy santos, stupidity in noontime game shows, tasteless song and dance numbers. add to that all the government cover-ups OR destructive allegations that further divide the country reported in the news.

i wrote them and gave them a piece of my mind. how shallow, irresponsible and unnecessary.

gravitational pull

2007-06-05T20:30:00.000+08:00

i have yet to read or watch the secret. but i am one of those who believe in the marginal (or overwhelming--depending on your stand) truth behind the laws of attraction.

i, of course, believe in gravity. demonstration: throw an apple high up, and you are certain to find yourself avoiding its vengeful and inevitable drop. it's because the earth is much denser (by an infentisimal amount) than the apple that we are to conclude that it's the earth that pulls the apple back, and not the apple pulling the earth towards it. physicists may argue that such an overly simplistic explanation of the phenomenon is hard evidence of the human intellect's impending doom. i couldn't care less.

following this logic, however, we find other evidences of 'denser' objects pulling smaller matter towards them albeit virtually at a stalemate at times. one example, the sun tugging at the planets. black holes sucking the life out of stars and systems. the corruption in government draining the citizen's morale (and money).

closer to home, i find that the same principle applies to my things. i organize my desk once every 6 months or so. as soon as it's all cleared out and functional once again, objects begin covering the white space. first a receipt from the grocery. then my phone bill. tomorrow, a calling card. a bit later, a pile of books i recently buy. along with the receipt. and the plastic. if i'm lucky, that goes with a free booklet on the month's hottest selection. coins. newspaper clippings. scratch paper.

give it a few weeks and that single receipt (coupled with the extremely 'dense' white space--i have to say, white space seems to be the 'densest' of all. just go and see where most graffiti and vandalism end up.) has managed to increase its mass to a whole melange of dusty rubbish, and several hours' worth of sorting and segregating, my desk hardly able to serve its intended purpose.

so today, in spite of my solid belief in the laws of attraction, we shall put this principle to the test. now, the desk is cleared out. its purpose, again offered. its destiny... to attract rubbish??

in less than an hour i've already managed to place a magazine clip about a parisian café and an african beach resort on top of my desk. we shall see if it's dense enough to attract others...

if this theory turns out correct, then i shall have a wad of cash waiting for the next attempt. perhaps over time it would attract millions! and i shall no longer have to count on the lotto. which by the way has recently declared a sole winner... for P 120 Million. that lucky bastard must be really really dense!

mount commie

2007-06-05T19:32:00.000+08:00

bored one day, i decided to commemorate four of the world's most popular 'communists' on a setting that pays tribute to four of america's greatest leaders.

lost species

2007-05-23T22:13:00.000+08:00

a kangaroo hops because it's a kangaroo. a pelican flies because it's a pelican. while a koala stares and does nothing because it is a koala. i, on the other hand, continue to hear voices.

contradicting voices.

schizo? maybe... all i know is that my head is acting up again. perhaps if i stuck it beneath the ground like ostriches do then it would cease. and all my doubts and anxieties would be muffled in the underworld.

what kind of a species am i anyway? could someone open the encyclopedia and point me out please... i wish to discover more about this life.

puta ka, jaworski

2007-05-21T19:36:00.001+08:00

PUTA KA, DODOT JAWORSKI!

and let me say this without editing or censoring that. allow me to sin just this one time--the guy has clearly demonstrated his immaturity and lack of sportsmanship.

his behavior firms up our initial doubts of supporting him. though just to state clearly that neither did i vote for the incumbent.

his supporters are rallying (at the peak of rush hour) right smack in the middle of an ortigas artery: the intersection of julia vargas and meralco. that spot, even without rallies, can turn sour enough for motorists. the last thing it needed was a complete closure by a bunch of sore-losers who have no consideration whatsoever to the rest of the city.

DODOT, POTAH, how many people do you think: were on their way to the hospital and died stuck in traffic? had a very crucial life-changing appointment and did not get there in time? had the runs and needed to rush to a toilet very very soon? had promised to be home in time for their family's dinner but ended up disappointing the kids?

FUCK, dude, it took me 45 freaking minutes for a trip that would have otherwise taken 3 minutes! you've increased road rage by a hundred, reduced productivity fifteen fold, and have proven to the world how much of a big cry baby you are! THANK HIGH HEAVENS YOU WON'T BE OUR MAYOR!

if i had a column in the papers today, i would be writing about YOU! and all the other victory-hallucinating, egoistic, inconsiderate politicians out there! damn you all!

wet mornings

2007-05-21T09:29:00.000+08:00

this morning, my right foot was greeted (quite generously) by a puddle of pee from our very adorable, oh-most-lovable dog, oreo. that surely roused me from my lingering daze. it was an effective combination of a cold shower, three shots of espresso and a loud horn blaring in my ears. the poor mutt must have had to go real badly and couldn't dash out of the room since everyone was asleep. (he's paper trained but no one spread out a sheet for him in the room.) haha. oh well. i paid for that.

realities of freelancing

2007-05-20T19:16:00.001+08:00

one thing i'm (re)discovering about freelancing--as a writer or artist--is that there's no such thing as a finished 'first draft' or 'initial layout'. no matter how well-thought of your concepts are or how spiffy a job comes out the first time around, there will always be that one not-so-perfect element the client will want changed or revised. it's really mostly a matter of taste; it's that grey area that people could argue on for hours and still not arrive at a resolution, simply because each one prefers to have it done his own way.

in the end, the client is master. and one can only reluctantly oblige or face career suicide. of course, one can create for his own sake, thinking that others are not good enough to enjoy his work. but then, really, wouldn't that be a little too narcissistic?

creative obstacle

2007-05-17T22:01:00.000+08:00

i am annoyed by the sheer lack of creative appreciation in this country.

you provide a unique solution, and authority says it's unconventional. of course, it's unconventional. it's supposed to stand out!

in other galaxies, far far away, such as australia, japan, us, and europe, designers and creative enterprises are sketching furiously. attempting to blot out the white space. (or simply keeping it blank.) figuring out alien configurations and patterns. mismatching unrelated disciplines. fusing together the craziest ideas, with the hope that in the midst of all the chaos--overloaded hard drives, paint-stained fingers, and pages and pages of crap and nonesene--beauty should emerge.

as creatives today, in this part of the boondock, we not only carry the responsibility of producing great work, we also have the duty to educate. to open the eyes of those whose sights were trained to follow, and not lead. to erase the notion that we should simply be content. and to enlighten them to discover and innovate and be pioneers.

ok, this is becoming too impassioned. anyway, here is a great ad from apple from the late 1990s. it's about thinking different -- a tribute to the crazy ones, the misfits, the rebels and the troublemakers.

democratic farce

2007-05-14T10:48:00.000+08:00

today is the day kikay people fear the most -- getting their nails ruined by indelible ink. either that or they forego participating in the 'democratic' process.

i'm really not sure why i go out of my way to cast a vote... perhaps it's due to the fact that i only have to walk across the street from my house. and i don't have to fall in line. or really, i probably just have nothing to do on a monday morning.

feel good factor is low this year. maybe it's because we're not electing a president. presidential elections are always exciting. and it keeps me at the edge of my seat, fingers crossed, and cheering in front of the television for days until the protests of being cheated begin. same old, same old.

i do hope all of you voted. even if you opted to keep your ballots blank. i did. well, at least i left 5 entries blank. this time, it's no mercy. no excuse for shifting sides. no excuse for former lies. no excuse for dynasties.

here's a sms forward from a good friend who ironically missed voting. haha.

The penalty that good men pay for not being interested in politics is to be governed by men worse than themselves - Plato

amen, plato. you rock!

god bless the philippines!

'C' is for Choking

2007-05-02T09:00:00.000+08:00

this morning, after breakfast, i choked on a 500mg vitamin C tablet.

who chokes on vitamin tablets at this age?! that would have been such a tragic way to die.

POLICE REPORT

MURDERED... by a white, generic, ascorbic acid tablet.
500 milligrams. about a third of an inch in diameter.
available in all leading drugstores.

it was a race between cutting out my air until i passed out and waiting for the thing to melt till it slid down my throat. ok, so i exaggerate. i was still able to breathe. in fact, i did manage to walk to the fridge and fetch myself another pitcher of water. i had the intention of flooding down the freaking tablet. although, in retrospect, that would have simply drowned me instead.

so, in fits of very harsh coughing--and thanks to my dad's furious encouragement--the culprit eventually got expelled.

you know, in hindsight, this really wasn't totally unexpected. for the past two months of every single day, i would gag at that C. i mean, i had no problems with the multivitamins. nor did i have trouble gulping down the E.

it's like its been planning this moment all along... (scary music in the background)

photogenic foods

2007-05-01T00:50:00.000+08:00

all of us have been duped at one time or another. but no one does it best--and as frequently--than the restaurant industry. there have been occasions when we've based the salvation of our starving tummies on photographs. believing that what we see is what we'll get... more often than not, those decisions have only left us grumbling with our bellies.

here are just some of those examples.

food styling should be abolished!

2007-04-09T22:55:00.000+08:00

sudden blog overload. i know. can't help it. i have the time and i've got the urge. no one obliged you to read through each crappy entry anyway.

so i'm leaving again this week. fantastic, fantastic. to the city i've heard of too frequently from others. about time i join the ranks of those who rave nonstop about the place... dumaguete! and, and to the land of mystics and philippine voodoo, siquijor! okay, so i don't believe in the local folklore. can't afford to challenge that now though. i'd rather the freak show remain at arm's length... i take that back; i'd rather they stay MILES AWAY from me.

manila fame 2007

2007-04-09T22:53:00.000+08:00

it's manila fame time!!!

occurring only twice every year, the manila fame is a showcase of the finest, most creative and highly produced designs and ideas (by filipinos) rendered into actual products, functional or otherwise! though mostly contemporary in design, the products, nevertheless, still carry local aesthetics.

i'm all giddy and excited to have my brains blown away. innovative and out-of-this-world concepts would be ideal!

sadly, the event also results in the piracy of some of our most unique creations. mass-produced (commoditized--fists raised!!! --see two entries down) in some northern country where quality is even the least of their priority.

the trade fair doesn't exactly allow direct selling of products, so if you do decide to go it should merely be an excursion to appreciate rather than to shop. think of it as taking a walk in a museum that magically appears biannually.

patience

2007-04-09T22:39:00.000+08:00

never has patience been so effectively portrayed than by this poster by frederic terral.

love it!

commodity music

2007-04-09T20:24:00.000+08:00

i found myself (unexpectedly) immersed with old world ballads and lazy sunset serenades at the mall today. and no, i wasn't at starbucks. three out of the five apparel shops i visited were spinning the vinyl to french and portuguese tunes of acid jazz and bossa nova. (the other two stores weren't playing any music at all.) is it because it's summer hence the urge to play chill out music? or has manila finally come to embrace the sublime lyricism and rhythms of foreign artists?

there was a time whenever i told people that the kind of music i listened to included old bossa classics, jazz and european pop, they'd raise their eyebrows at me with a barely surreptitious look that was supposed to make me squirm for having such odd taste.

i simply avoid fads. and it gets to me when i find my interests suddenly falling within the sphere of manila's insatiable need to saturate itself with the day's trend.

sitti--god bless her for trying--has somehow 'commoditized' bossa nova with her window-shattering, testicle-rattling versions of gilberto, mendez, and who else. starbucks has likewise contributed, if not initiated, to the dilution of what was once a niche market for the records industry.

it actually remains pleasant to browse around with these tunes resonating in the background. it's just a shame that so many things these days are fast becoming commodities.

...leaving me in search of new, less popular favorites.

how do you spell that again?

2007-04-07T09:30:00.000+08:00

i remember getting a classmate into trouble back in sixth grade.

it was reading class, and the teacher was compiling a list of uncommon words on the blackboard. our class of forty had been divided into tens; four teams to fiercely compete for a hollow victory of providing the most number. dictionaries and thesauruses were not to be drawn out. we shouted out (turn by turn) the most inimitable and unrecognizable words we could pull for a sixth grader's vocabulary, then spelled them out impeccably like spelling bee champions. segregate from team one. bovine from team two. a staggering hypochondriac from team three. martinet from our very own. each team applauded smugly after displaying such unexpected sophistication for untidy boys with unshaven lips. of course, at that time, we weren't expected to know their definitions.

when a teammate's word list ran dry, the group conferred and passed on to him the syllables that were intermediate to our survival. word after word, we outperformed the others. (a team was eliminated once an inexistent word was given.) until finally there were only two teams left: team three and ours.

the speed of which the words accumulated would have put the US and the USSR's nuclear arms race to shame. we mentally scanned comic books, short stories and the rare novels we had read, squeezing out the words that would have us overtake the patotot untouched and victorious. we were putting syllables together then got quick consensus on the validity of our frankensteinish words. those we were confident with, we recited out. until finally, our minds began to buckle. one after another. and less of the team had anything more to contribute.

the obligation to represent the group relayed around as many times as an adolescent would involuntarily squeak in a conversation. and the baton was about to arrive at my seatmate's lap on the next turn. his name was ryan.

ryan was a known jester and troublemaker in class. he was chubby and pale. and he amusingly glared upwards every time he argued with anyone as if his opponent was always seven-feet tall.

ryan was becoming desperate. he searched us for answers. but everyone's eyes were cast down as if we expected new words to magically appear on our worn out, dusty, ~~black~~ greying leather shoes instead. he tugged on my oversized polo and hissed on my ear, asking for the least word we could fabricate that would sound ostensibly intelligent. still wanting us to win the competition, i gave him the first valid word that crossed my mind. when his turn was finally up, the teacher requested him for our entry. without much of a second thought, he confidently said, "Miss! PUKE. P-U-K-E. PUKE."

he was asked to stand at the corner of the room, while our team got eliminated.

(the two definitions of puke: english filipino)

bullrun

2007-03-18T19:04:00.000+08:00

the simpsons (anime version)

2007-03-09T13:28:00.000+08:00

garden relic

2007-02-08T10:02:00.000+08:00

door to somewhere

2007-02-08T10:01:00.000+08:00

catch me some sun

2007-02-08T10:00:00.000+08:00

professional over personal stress

2007-02-08T09:28:00.000+08:00

it can be more stressful at home than at work.

stress of the heart is worse than that of the mind.

when things get a little too heated in the office, you can always rely on the fact that the workday will end. and that your relationship with an annoying colleague or an unrelenting boss can be considered superficial and purely professional and therefore unimportant. and all the headache can take a backseat -- even if only for a few hours, until the sun rises and you're back on your way to work, numb and calloused.

when the time arrives you get fed up, you can raise the finger and have them kiss your pasty white ass as you walk away into uncertainty, yet with pride and dignity intact.

however when it comes to family, friends and loved ones, a totally different scenario takes place. the dynamics are more complex. and the relationships, seriously complicated.

or perhaps it's just me...

with this group, a grunt can mean disrespect. a heavy sigh, an insult. an exasperated curse, a serious violation of everything comprising the relationship, be it a bond formed 5-years, 10-years, or 20-years past. and you carry all the discomfort, heartache, grudge and guilt with you -- to the office, to the toilet, to lunchtime and even to bedtime, where replays of good times and bad times struggle and argue for a verdict of forgiveness or abandonment, an admission or a denial. and where either decision can be life-changing.

the stress it creates can be enormous. and it just drives your friggin mind to the edge; to the point where you find yourself standing on a high cliff screaming, "BWISIT!"

night reading

2007-02-04T21:10:00.000+08:00

television at the speed of light

2007-02-04T21:05:00.000+08:00

the pig is snorting

2007-02-04T21:00:00.000+08:00

finally free and surprisingly busy to even update my blog... 2007 took off faster than i had expected or planned. and it got me scrambling towards an overflowing source of opportunities even before the tanning lotion was out. i find myself running abreast with the corporate rats, albeit with more freedom to go off-track and select my route on impulse. i am free of a boss, yet somehow arrive at being enslaved by someone more demanding and ambitious -- myself.

i had planned ahead for this year. and less than a full month into the new year, direction shifted. goals, front-loaded. priorities, shuffled. and so i ask myself if this is really the pace i want to go...

it may be too soon to answer that now. it may be too soon to answer that anytime... i guess flexibility is the key. adaptiveness, the name of the game. i've burnt myself out on too many occasions in the past for not checking my pulse. a healthy regular check-up is in order.

eleven months left to the year. and so much excitement awaits.

the pig is snorting.

59th street bridge song

2007-01-02T09:33:00.000+08:00

thanks to pangga, i had to google my way just to investigate what made my last post so 59th-street-bridge-song-like as i had had no idea how that song went. so for the benefit of the curious, voici les paroles (as i download the friggin' song from limewire):

59th Street Bridge Song
Simon and Garfunkel

Slow down, you move too fast.
You got to make the morning last.
Just kicking down the cobble stones.
Looking for fun and feelin' groovy.
Hello lamppost,
What cha knowing?
I've come to watch your flowers growing.
Ain't cha got no rhymes for me?
Doot-in' doo-doo,
Feelin' groovy.

Got no deeds to do,
No promises to keep.
I'm dappled and drowsy and ready to sleep.
Let the morning time drop all its petals on me.
Life, I love you,
All is groovy.

so with that settled, i have to agree that the post does resonate 59th street. although this guy seems to have had more than just a pleasant stroll down a bridge... (oh dragons and poppy fields and what-have-you, i love you!) cheers, v! see ya... next week? :)

many books and new years

2006-12-31T16:46:00.000+08:00

i love books. i feel as if each book i pick up from the shelf has something new and important to tell me. and i am eager to listen -- or read, for that matter -- what new insight, bright idea, inspiring thought or controversial argument awaits to titillate my mind. i burst with energy to flip the pages all at once and absorb... book after book. story after story. seeing life articulated onto white surface: snapshots. narratives. lessons.

sprinting from one cover to another however does deplete the essence of reading. like vintage wine gulped recklessly. unsavored and unappreciated. doing injustice to something someone worked hard on for weeks. months. or even years.

so goes with life. where most choose to rush past to find themselves ultimately old and shriveled, others prefer to stroll and pace.

the coming year brings fresh hope, new opportunities and a clear, unobstructed view of life. and i've made a decision to start it right--with comfortable flipflops, a sturdy walking stick, and a renewed spirit.

may the pages of 2007 be written with the vibrance of rich words. may each flip resonate with the goodness of life. and may it be felt and lived with love, eagerness and passion.

a blessed new year to all!

penthouse dweller no more

2006-12-20T16:13:00.000+08:00

adieu à la haute vie.

ça y est!

il faut vivre sur la terre maintenant...

one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind

2006-12-05T20:56:00.000+08:00

FREEEEEEEE!

today i made headway. and the battle was fought quickly. i am now on the clear road to freedom!

work life caught on paper

2006-12-01T22:28:00.000+08:00

after eleven months of ~~slaving~~ apprenticing under the controversial genius / philanthropist, i have thus learned how to filter useless ramblings from the boss' real instructions. and since about 80% of a meeting's duration is comprised of the mumbo jumbo which clutters up the discussion, often extending it to the agonizing early hours of a new day, i have also learned how to effectively zone out and take refuge in a dimension only i can tap and visit.

lately, i have taken a new hobby of exercising any artistic bone that may still remain alive within me. i have to say i was rather surprised with what a quarter of an hour of those insanely unpleasant meetings "inspired" me to produce in my notebook:

eerie. it's like being back in high school...

(image is a sketch of the boss as he rambles on and on)

preparing for flight

2006-12-01T18:50:00.000+08:00

and just like that, another month is flipped to the back of the calendar.

i'm not exactly sure if anesthetizing my sense of time is something to toast glasses to; the blur of days has spared me from fully bearing the brunt of prolonged high-altitude sickness. and i have to congratulate myself for even staying this far up this long when many have already let go and fallen. i have finally reached the apex... and the time has come to make another life-changing decision.

the past year has been memorable--for the lack of a better word. and 2006 will be written in history as the year that belonged to the man of many ~~personalities~~ faces. the man of generosity and greed. the man of truth and false gossip. the man of revelations. i will fondly recall several of the lessons i've managed to keep through this eventful climb, using them appropriately as i prepare for my next feat.

the last two weeks have been an epiphany: rediscovering life--painfully beautiful--spread through the panoramic view of the horizon. i am now ready to jump. and fly. and soar. with the anticipated sweetness of freedom lingering at the tip of my lips. and the psalms of bigotry left behind to echo within the hollow walls of wealth and power.

penniless. unarmed. free. life is better lived this way, in my opinion. but one will have difficulty surviving in extremes. so we adjust. and we move. constantly. until balance is achieved.

world, here i come (once again)!

paradigm shift

2006-11-04T21:59:00.000+08:00

the appeal of dwelling high is fading... feeling just a tad bit acrophobic. longing for the comfort of solid ground.

spoke too soon

2006-10-22T21:41:00.000+08:00

spoke too soon...

five in the morning. i received an sms from my boss saying there was a fiesta in tondo today. that basically meant i had work to accomplish. so i did what any normal employee would do--ignore it. besides, i didn't have enough time to prepare. suppliers had to be informed. people had to be mobilized. resources were unavailable. all that usually requires at least three days to ensure smooth execution (and enough room to breathe). i wanted to punch the inconsiderate, thick-faced bastard who presented this information last minute. because in truth, i could have done this swiftly and easily. if there's at least one thing i've learned from my penthouse training, it's that the word "problem" should not exist in my vocabulary. and i knew i was only making excuses to avoid having to work (again) on a sunday.

no problems. only solutions.

twelve noon. phone was ringing. it was the boss. i quickly debated in my head on whether i should pick up. i did anyway. he wanted us to get things rolling in the afternoon. who was i to say, no?

four hours later: six hundred families. twenty workers. six volunteers. three hours. two barangays. mission accomplished. and another sunday afternoon gets written in the journals as spent on-the-job.

silent month

2006-10-22T00:33:00.000+08:00

blog's been dormant this past month. mainly due to two reasons:
a) too much work to be done, AND
b) more work to be done.

although my rant meter has been running high lately, i haven't really found time to just sit and write (and complain). weekends included. that's because i haven't had a single free weekend--working 7 days a week--during the past month and a half. and it was only a matter of time before i actually started feeling weary from having to get up daily at an hour usually reserved for dawn masses. thankfully, i have this weekend for now. but it's damn too short to compensate for the ones that dissipated from my life. the coming week opens a new series of busy weekends, enough to sour my mood while others plan for their out-of-town trips in anticipation for the november 1 holiday.

on other things... mercury's been dropping. seems like christmas weather drifted in earlier than usual this year. and it's not yet even halloween! a trip to sagada would just be perfect with this climate. if only an escape plan could be drafted...

striped nightmare

2006-10-21T23:58:00.000+08:00

what does it mean when one dreams about tigers--hundreds of them--lazing in the backyard?

break-in

2006-10-21T23:25:00.000+08:00

after two months of grinding work, hooked on properly executing the innumerable and almost impossible requests of my boss, i fear that the electric pulses in my head are once again shifting from one side to the other, disrupting the healthy equilibrium i have been trying so hard to maintain.

i need a change of scenery. if only for a couple of days. before i turn into a complete machine.

twelve minutes

2006-09-18T22:46:00.000+08:00

twelve minutes is what's needed if you have to boil a kettle of water for hard-boiled eggs. twelve minutes is the short time spent to reach fort bonifacio from ortigas center after rush hour traffic has dispersed. twelve minutes is what separates the arms of my watch from the makati towing brigade's clocks...

for the second time in a little more than a month, my car got towed.

i parked at a "5pm to 7pm tow-away zone" at 7:00pm in salcedo village. upon returning to my spot 33 minutes later, my car had already transformed from a silver corona to a grey civic. i probably wouldn't have minded if an aston martin or a jaguar was waiting in lieu of my thirteen year old sedan. who knows. my keys would have fit in perfectly.

6:48pm was the time written on my violation ticket. and i argued (halfheartedly) that i had parked at 7:00. at the back of my mind i already knew that any attempts of talking my thousand bucks out of their cash box was futile. after handing over two newly-withdrawn, crunchy yellow bills to those sons-of-bitches, they followed through with an instruction that i had to redeem my license from the makati city hall the following day (plus an additional P500 fine!). by some stroke of luck (for the corrupted scum of the earth), i was in a pretty numb mood, and not in my usual debate-me-to-death pose. in fact, i wasn't feeling an ounce of grumpiness. no. on the other hand, i was even in a jolly good mood. and i managed my way out of that deliberate inconvenience with a hundred fifty peso corruption tip and a couple of jokes! who the hell pays his oppressors a huge amount of cash and throws in a couple of jokes for free?!

well, i did. tonight. and while those fools chuckle the night away, my pocket frowns on its shameful loss. all because of those twelve (crucial) minutes.

multiple careerpaths

2006-09-08T13:16:00.000+08:00

recently passing my eighth month mark in the company, i realized that i have had an average of 1.25 job designations per month, or a total of 10 responsibilities since i entered.

marketing officer, graphic apparel line (us operations)
business unit head, graphic apparel line (us operations)
logistics officer, shrimp farming operations
public relations officer
recruiter, welding professionals export
executive assistant to the chairman
marketing and distribution officer, milkfish business unit (north america)
logistics officer, aquaculture operations (domestic operations)
sales and marketing, broadband technology unit (us operations)
logistics head, csr projects and political campaign in manila

how much more dynamic can a company be? this is taking the concept of job rotation to the extreme!

guide my way up

2006-09-07T21:51:00.000+08:00

penthouse views

2006-09-07T21:19:00.000+08:00

in spite of my belief that manila should be burnt to the ground and then rebuilt to glory, i can't deny the small wonder i silently keep for the concrete jungle we all call home.

...ortigas center at a distance...

...manila american cemetery with laguna de bay in the background...

...makati skyline...

...humongous broccoli...

i took the photos from my office room... hard to believe i still manage to complain about work huh? :)

a sense of mediocrity

2006-09-06T00:04:00.000+08:00

i squirm. i fidget. i breathe and scratch my butt. i am attacked by that occasional realization that i am mediocre...

i sometimes wonder if it would be better to just suck at one thing, than simply be average. after all, if you are the worst, then you are effectively the best (at sucking at it). which translates to a superlative, and not just a vague representation of the lumpy portion of a normal bell curve.

i am raw. sour, when it should be sweet. sweet, when it should be bitter. i am tap. an unnoticed existence. neither chilly nor scalding, a faint presence registered solely by a drop of mercury.

i am at an age where i am young to the old, and old to the young. i have no place. no associations. no allegiances. i hit tennis balls with a flute. and manage to paint with a camera. my pen can speak portuguese to a dog who responds back in french. he is unmistakably sophisticated, however such a dog can never wear a tux.

i can market a truck. and i can deliver products using a television. all this while cooking dinner in a kitchen, on-board a cruise ship.

mediocrity is a termite-infested arrow which points imprecisely to the rain forest, where travelers are left to trample on roots and march on downtrodden paths. in it, the notes of incomplete symphonies flutter over enormous trees whose leaves are made of children's words. when the rains fall through the canopies overhead, these words spiral down to the soaked ground of water color and oil. if one manages to escape, then he'd have a whole field of passion to till.

for the meantime, i can bask in the glow of my trophy; my prize for being the best in being mediocre at so many things.

contrasts

2006-08-26T13:15:00.000+08:00

there's much beauty to be found in the contrasts that surround life:

shards of purple rocky mountains sticking out behind an expanse of lush green rice paddies

a sincere act kindness and generosity in the midst of a sea of indifference and greed

a band of colorfully clad nomads marching through an interminable stretch of desert sand

cheerful tunes from a harmonica breaking the whispers of rustling leaves and gurgling water

multi-racial expressions of thousands of passengers moving down the halls of a major airport

crisp sheets on a warm bed after a long day's work

more skies awaiting better moons

2006-08-15T16:48:00.000+08:00

the sky is dim, and i look out from the rooftop disappointed and defeated. my first moon has failed to bloom; the moon rock i planted remains underground, moist and soiled and moldy. a shooting star passes. then another. i watch blankly at each life-changing wish that flashes and fades beyond the horizon, opportunities for others to reach out for and cherish.

taking the elevator down to the ground, i then step out of the building. i rummage through the overgrown grass and untended shrubs that conceal the spot. it doesn't take me long before i locate it, having marked the ground previously with a big, red cross, similar to those of old pirates' treasure maps.

after burrowing through the cool, damp soil, i retrieve the moon rock, its surface as pale as it was the moment i buried it... yet somehow, unexpectedly, it begins to pulse. faintly. almost unnoticeably. a weak, rhythmic beat to its increasing phosphorescent glow. life begins to stir as the gentle breeze erodes particles of dust that cling to its face.

there are still more skies awaiting better moons.

noticed the missing musketeers?

2006-08-10T14:31:00.000+08:00

chocolates are one of man's greatest inventions. and it was an inseparable part of my childhood as tooth cavity is to excessive sweets. from nutty big bang to chewy cloud 9. rich serg's chocolate bars and sweet nips choco candies. affordable silver and gold wrapped goya bars as well as the "i still need scissors" jack and jill chocolate pretzels. soft choco mallows, tedious yet exciting yan-yan and powdery chocnuts. to the imported caramel lion bar, crispy round maltesers, triangular toblerone and ubiquitous nestlé (fondly pronounced "nessel") crunch. to unmeltable m&m's, snappy kit kat, sticky snickers and heavenly mars (pun intended). milky hershey bars, crunchy krackel and dull mr. goodbar. even to the more pricey cadbury chocolates, brittle ferrero rocher, uber-sweet almond roas and wide variety see's candies. and sometimes to the sophisticated european-branded sinful treats that come in fancy boxes and small quantities, leaving you delighted yet unsatisfied ("ubos na?!"). each chocolate recipe is truly a unique experience on its own.

but through the years, i've outgrown my insatiable craving for sugar-rush moments. and i have successfully numbed myself to ignore those tiny bundles of ecstasy waiting to be released. little by little, my old childhood friends moved further and further down a longer list of gastronomic favorites, dejected and recalled only on occasion.

it does not mean though that i have lost my love for chocolates. in fact, if one happened to be lying around the house unattended and with no one's name on it, it would most likely find itself popped into my mouth before you can say, "m&m's melt in your mouth, not in your hands!"

after staying clear of buying and consuming excessive amounts of chocolates, it was only recently that i discovered the missing musketeers!

i was attending an inauguration of a friend's art exhibit at megamall. pretty intimate; with family, supporters, friends, fellow artists and a couple of political figures gracing her event. goblets of cabernet and merlot were passed around (rather generously if i might add), and if for that alone i would have already enjoyed my evening. an unspectacular ribbon cutting ceremony. some annoying flashes of light. but truly an inspiring display of creativity, revealing inhibited thoughts and emotions through a mix of colors and various strokes. there in the middle of it all, i bumped into two friends i have not seen for quite some time. since we weren't feeling very sociable that evening, we decided to take our seats away from all the bustle of the party.

the queue to the cocktail table was pretty long, so we opted to wait before falling in line despite the complaints of our bellies. it so happened that J had some chocolates in her bag. she asked if we wanted some. and without a second thought i replied with a no, thank you. she dropped a few bars on the table anyway. there were two bite-size bars each of toblerone and 3 musketeers. of which i took one of the latter realizing that i haven't had one of those in a while.

with the right balance of sweet and bitter,
a sensual bite of tough layer and smooth filling, the soft fudge 3 musketeers melted away my present indifference to chocolate. hmmm... love with indifference... sounds like many modern-day marriages. and it's probably the most accurate way of describing my relationship with chocolate.

as the sugar raced through my veins like molten lava down a steep slope, J said, "don't you just miss those? they no longer sell 3 musketeers here in the philippines." then the lava flow just stopped... cooled... hardened. and i found myself frozen in mid-action like the poor victims of vesuvius who had been preserved like statues in the middle of doing their daily chores.

say what?!

"they haven't been around for more than a year. so i had to have my mom bring some home from the states," she added. "not that i really eat them. i actually just like carrying them around." her motherly instincts very apparent in that last statement.

so there. 3 musketeers are no longer in the philippines. not that i bothered verifying this in stores or anything. and the last remaining piece of the chocolate that night i had to savor bit by bit, even if it could have easily fit in my mouth whole.

towed away

2006-08-07T19:28:00.000+08:00

i'm one of those overgrown kids who appreciates the sheer fun of watching magic shows. from the huge, elaborate mega-productions to the spontaneous, informal street magic to those colorful kiddie-party entertainments, i am drawn to performances that leave me mesmerized and speculating on the whole process of unfolding a trick. one type of trick which has particularly eluded my logical sense and intellect (which either goes to show how good the trick really is or how embarrassingly inadequate my grey matter works) is the disappearance of huge objects -- such as an elephant or a tiger or simply a long-legged beautiful lady in a sparkling costume. and i'm not referring to those disappearing acts that deal with exotic and colorful dark boxes where one has to step into -- we all know how those work. i'm talking about the simple act of making a huge object vanish -- into thin air.

one local group that's particularly good at doing this (but does not end up getting the same enthusiastic response from its audience) is the city government of makati. every month, hundreds of drivers find themselves wide-eyed and wondering as they stand on the exact empty spot where they last left their vehicles. for those familiar with this heart-stopping phenomenon, they would know to immediately search for chalk markings scribbled on the asphalt as the only clue to where they could retrieve their SUVs and japanese sedans. for first-timers, however, this experience could be truly shocking with fears of a carnapping rushing through them like the flood.

last friday night, my car was towed. before finding that out for myself though, a friend called and interrupted what was a wonderful indian meal i've been craving for for more than a week. "i just saw your car being towed," he said.

i felt incredulous at first. what were the odds of a random friend actually witnessing my car being hauled away from its behind? are you sure, i asked. are you in dela costa too? (i was parked along dela costa avenue.) by asking the latter question, i was hoping he'd reply that he was somewhere far away like quezon city or marikina, in which case he was clearly just mistaken. it wasn't more than 15 minutes since i had parked.

"yes, i'm in dela costa. i'm sure it was your car," he replied. and just for emphasis, he dictated the alphanumerics of my plates.

i was stunned. i remembered parking properly inside the box of a legal slot. in fact, the area i parked in was a usual location for me to park my vehicle whenever i was in the neighborhood. something wasn't right. i thanked him and hung up.

i had to repeat the story to my companions if only to verbalize and convince myself of the news i had just received. no, i didn't feel panicked. neither was i saddened nor afraid. i had actually experienced having my car towed before (about seven years ago) and yes, that did prove to be nerve-wracking for me. but this time, i was simply... confused. i had parked in a legal slot at a proper hour. i was absolutely sure i wasn't violating any law.

coming out of my stupor, i stepped out of the restaurant and marched down the street to verify the injustice and forthcoming inconvenience of all this. i was also secretly hoping that it was just some sick joke my friend decided to throw at me to kick off the weekend. but, no... evidence number one: i saw my friend actually standing across the street waiting for a cab. i waved at him and hollered my thanks. a few meters later, evidence number two: a towing crew was working on a pajero -- that was also parked inside a legal slot! what was going on? i approached the men and asked them why they were ganging up on the vehicle. they said it was illegally parked. i pointed at the very clear paint marks indicating that it was not. they said the vehicle was -- evidence number three -- "facing the wrong direction". WTF?! i recalled my car had also faced the same direction the pajero did. according to the accompanying cop, vehicles had to park facing the direction of traffic of the lane they were in. i mean, i've been aware of this exact rule to exist in some US cities, but this was the first time i was hearing it implemented in metro manila. i started an argument. there are no signs, i said. you have no information campaign. if it's new, you don't even have a grace period. i've been parking here for the past 5 years! i soon realized it was pointless lecturing to a bunch of men who were just doing the dirty job of hauling the cars away. i continued walking to my parking slot to complete evidence number four: my car was missing. i headed back to the restaurant where a bowl of unfinished spicy lamb biryani awaited me.

is it really necessary to tow a car that is parked in a legal slot only because it faced the opposite direction? towing vehicles is indeed a responsibility of the local government, but it has to be enforced properly and with due reason. here are some valid circumstances that would call for the need of a tow truck (and why parking legally but facing the wrong way should not be included!):

1. obstruction of traffic - when a vehicle is parked in such a way that it creates a bottleneck resulting in heavy traffic. this occurs when a vehicle breaks down and is stalled in the middle of the street (can forcibly be towed), or when a vehicle is inconsiderately parked in areas where it shouldn't be parked (no parking signs) because the passage isn't wide enough for other vehicles, or because there is a driveway.

2. hazard and emergency - when a vehicle is parked beside fire hydrants or hospital, police and fire station driveways. self-explanatory enough i suppose. also, when the driver himself requires towing services due to car breakdown, road accident or simply because he's too drunk to drive back home.

3. private property - when private individuals or corporations who have jurisdiction over an area declare the place a no-parking zone.

4. abandonment - when a vehicle has collected all the dust and grime of other vehicles that have passed by it and when the government (or complainant) has "enough reason" to believe that the vehicle has been abandoned completely by the owner.

5. ex-girlfriend's boyfriend's car - when you see the brand new car of your ex-girlfriend's boyfriend parked in an area where there are no other slots for you to park in.

other than that, a ticket should suffice, assuming that drivers have been adequately informed of the implementation of such ordinances. as it is, however, the ticketing system is not in place in metro manila -- or has not been properly executed.

so after dinner, i had a friend drop me off at the impounding yard along yakal street. i had two girl-friends accompany me to the office. i outlined the strategy we were to undertake as i had no intention of paying the full fine (which was a P1,000). since i had a pretty logical argument (on the absurdity of the violation and how it was carried out) in my head, my first approach was to debate with the officials. i wasn't expecting them to actually waive my fine. but i was hoping i could get some sort of a discount if i got my point through. if that didn't work, i told the girls to work up their charms. sometimes pretty faces and sweet talking could outdo logical reasoning. and lastly, if that also did not succeed, i asked the two to get prepared for some girl-on-girl action which should certainly get us off the hook.

as soon as we were presented to the "officer-in-charge" of that evening's towing operations, i demanded to see the regulations booklet. there is no such law, i said. the officer calmly opened an old-looking manual to the page where my violation was listed (and even highlighted in green marker!). i asked when this was put into place. and he said that it had always been in place. i insisted that i had been parking in the same area for the past 5 years with no incident whatsoever so it was not possible that this ordinance had been active for very long. he wouldn't budge or bat an eyelash. ignorance of the law may not hold in court, but it is the government's responsibility to create an awareness of its laws and regulations. i enumerated every single argument i had loaded myself with. i even mockingly asked how many violators they were able to apprehend that evening (for i had seen several chalk markings along the street where i had parked, in addition to the pajero i witnessed being hauled). and they proudly replied they had plenty. to which i responded that it was proof that a majority was not aware of such an ordinance. the city government was cheating its very own citizens. the officer started to get impatient with my bickering. i refused to pay my fine. he then said through clenched teeth that if i had any complaints whatsoever, to forward it to so and so since they had no authority to make any decisions about my concerns... i hate it when they do that. it's unfair. how else could i argue when they flip the cap of responsibility to someone else who's not in the room and I couldn't get in touch with immediately? i failed my first strategy. needless to say, i opted to no longer proceed with the other two approaches we discussed (not that my friends actually agreed to it in the first place). i ended up shelling out the thousand bucks anyway. those buggers.

so, warning to all motorists: aside from ensuring that you park at the right time at the right place, make sure that you also park facing the right direction. and since i can only be sure of this ordinance's existence in makati, it would be best to get used to the same practice in any other city you visit anyway. our metropolitan traffic system is flawed and not transparent. you have so many different cities outdoing each other, on top of having an mmda's futile attempts at governing things centrally.

now if i can only get a magician to make these stupid politicians disappear...

if a man were to kill the murderer of his wife, will he not be convicted just the same?

2006-08-04T16:09:00.000+08:00

let's put the middle east crisis into perspective.

say, for example, hizbollah is the ku klux klan (kkk). its members, definitely caucasian, pretty much look like the average bob, carl or bill (without the white masks of course). no doubt, they're part of the kkk because they believe in its principles, twisted as it may seem to the rest of us. they've terrorized before, but hey, for as long as they aren't very active, let the government grant them their liberties to coexist with the rest of peaceful america.

one saturday evening, kkk-member carl (fictional) who lives in little rock, arkansas (non fictional) decides to have some fun... he convinces his friends and fellow kkk-members bob and bill (made up characters) to drive all the way to memphis, tennessee (real place). why memphis -- who really knows? perhaps they've all had a little too much to drink at the local tavern. or maybe the thought of a little adventure outside little rock seemed more exciting than spending the rest of the night with the wife at home while she gossiped about the neighbors, with rollers in her hair.

so the three agree and head east to memphis in an old rusty pickup. after two toilet stops and a purchase of marlboro reds in a 7-11, they finally arrive in the outskirts of memphis.

to make a long story short, the three kidnap two city cops (both black) and torch the patrol car they were in. they drive back to little rock and are not heard from since. (the two cops' names, by the way, are tyler and ray -- both fictional.)

as dawn approaches, the governor of tennessee is awakened by a call from the memphis mayor. he relays what has just happened about two hours ago. according to witnesses, they saw three white men carry the cops into a rusty pickup with arkansas plates. police intelligence suspects they are from the kkk based in little rock. (don't you just love how efficient these intelligence networks are?)

the governor, flustered with the news, gets out of bed and paces around his room. this isn't the first time this has happened, he thinks. and on several instances before, the kkk has created widespread terror among his citizens with their eerie marches, burning effigies, and occasional murder. (but for the sake of this exercise, let's include the following charges: kidnapping citizens, burning government installations across tennessee, bombing public places such as parks and malls.) although these are pretty serious charges, these occurred across twenty years and with several years in between each attack, and so the federal government was never compelled to act harshly against it except label the group as a terrorist organization. but the governor will not stand for that now. he needs to act. and fast. he needs to show that tennessee has muscle. and whoever dares step on him shall feel his wrath.

without delay, tennessee governor sends arkansas governor an email stating that if arkansas does not disarm the kkk within a day, then tennessee will be forced to do it for them. arkansas governor is aghast. for he is powerless in completing this demand before the given deadline. his intelligence network is not as efficient as tennessee's and therefore cannot be relied on identifying key members and officers of the kkk. he implores tennessee to stand down. but the latter would not hear of any reason why they should.

tennessee, then, sends out more emails. this time to the citizenry of little rock. they also distribute flyers and pamphlets and k-mart coupons warning the civilians of little rock to evacuate within the day, for the state of tennessee will soon bombard their city with rockets to finally extinguish the terrors of the kkk. scratching their heads, the little rock folks don't really know where else to go. they've lived in little rock all their life. with their ancestral houses. their shops. their institutions. all the memories and history stored within the bricks and concrete of their city hall, monuments and homes. and so most decide to stay anyway, since they figured tennessee would be bombing kkk infested areas (not that anyone can properly identify where these really are). there are some though who do decide to evacuate... and so they pack up and leave (for unknown refuge). but then the attacks begin...

first the bus depots. then the freeways. afterwards, the airport. tennessee declares it has to destroy all infrastructure that the kkk might use to its advantage. but how are these refugees supposed to leave then? some are forced to return home. others decide to walk until they drop. for as long as they're out of the heat of the attacks. the kkk retaliates. on one occasion, they gather their friends' wives, children and elderly to shelter in a schoolhouse (which of course these people trusted) from which they launched their own rockets. the following day the school house collapses after a series of missiles hit it from tennessee. many innocent people die. tennessee wonders how that can happen. they're sure rockets were launched from that schoolhouse. well. they never really bothered verifying with intelligence in determining who exactly were inside. so, tough luck. so the war escalates. rockets from little rock create havoc in memphis. and missiles from memphis destroy little rock. casualties rise on both sides.

meanwhile, the federal government looks on, pleased that finally tennessee decides to eradicate the terrorists. but for humanitarian reasons, and so as not to be completely condemned by the international community, it sends a high government official to broker a ceasefire between the two states (more of a farce really, but truly serves as a decoy to further delay any moves towards real peace). but arkansas refuses to welcome this official. for it knows well that the federal government has in its power the ability to carry out the ceasefire instantly if it wanted to (by stopping tennessee to attack).

almost a month later, hundreds of fun-loving, fast-food grubbing, peaceful civilians have been killed, both from arkansas and tennessee. and despite tennessee's initial convictions that the way to settle the issue (which we may have forgotten goes back to the kidnapping -- on top of the other previous charges) was how it decided to act, trigger-happy kkk is still very much alive and kicking. and little is still known about the whereabouts of carl or bob or bill, or the state of either tyler or ray.

---

has the world come closer to attaining sustainable peace through a holocaust of innocent civilians (israeli or lebanese)?

do you really believe that this war will eradicate terrorism?
... when a son or daughter of a killed civilian decides to dedicate his life to bring down israel (and the west) because of his loss (oh, looky here, new recruits for al qaeda!)
... when israel's display of might convinces existing terrorists that israel has to be brought down because of its arrogance in the middle east (and you'll never convince arabs to think otherwise)
... when terrorists realize that the way to create division in the world is to bring countries to war (so that sides will be taken as the world is showing now) which hopefully might escalate to new world wars

do you really believe peace can be attained?
... when perhaps hizbollah wanted this to happen from the very beginning in order to obtain the sympathies of its arab neighbors and islam brothers
... when this war can only highlight the chasm that exists between israel and its neighbors
... when the wars in the middle east never ever ended in peace anyway

---

by condemning israel's attacks, it does not mean we agree with what hizbollah or hamas or the palestinians (or whoever) has done to similarly terrorize the israelis.

by condemning israel's attacks, it does not mean we are ignorant of terrorist propaganda. on the other hand, it may simply prove that governments are vulnerable and blindly responding to the silent intentions of these terrorists to awaken violence in the region.

by condemning israel's attacks, it simply means the world expects israel to rise above its (sorry to say) more savage (???) neighbors who are out for blood, and to act accordingly. no other country may have experienced persecution and terror as much as israel has and had (since the birth of its civilization), and it should be very much aware that retaliating at such a scale will not win them peace.

we condemn america's apathetic stance because it is supposed to defend the defenseless, as it claims. while we do not include hizbollah under the list of defenseless people, the lebanese are suffering israel's wrath.

we condemn america's apathetic stance because if this happened within its soil, it would have acted much differently to defend the innocent and save its citizens at the soonest possible time.

we condemn america's apathetic stance because it does not consider the scenarios that brought the region into the crisis (do they think they're still playing the world? or haven't they considered that the terrorists are beginning to move them like pawns?) and is still not considering scenarios that should bring the region to peace. (perhaps america is simply studying its options on how to further take control of the region? by leaving israel to attack hizbollah, america expects iran to soon interfere. once iran interferes, america again has reason to condemn iran and perhaps conduct another iraq invasion. let's de-nuke iran!)

so is iran playing the region or is america still in-charge? we do not really know for certain.

what's for certain is that war is not the answer. call me an idealist. i don't care. as i said before, you can't talk peace and have a gun. you can't teach kids to enjoy signing rockets just because they themselves are victims... we are bringing the world to a culture of revenge, when it should be about justice. if a man were to kill the murderer of his wife (in the states), will he not be convicted just the same?

tig-tatlo po

2006-08-02T16:05:00.000+08:00

(tagged by tomatotoes)

3 people who make me laugh: mia, bimbo, vera

3 things I love: creative writing, empty beaches, great conversations

3 things I hate: hypocrites, grandstanders, mongo

3 things on my desk (at home): a postcard from paris, a 3000-page dictionary, a cashbox with little cash

3 things I am doing right now: slacking off, listening to tycho, preparing a shot of gin

3 things I want to do before I die: skydive, visit tibet, fly a plane

3 things I can do: change a flat tire, cook a decent meal, fold t-shirts

3 ways to describe my personality: open, easy-going, extroverted

3 things people might not know about me: i sleepwalk, i fear flying cockroaches, the magic 3 (that's all i can say. an appropriate number for this survey, yes? hahaha.)

3 things I think you should listen to: thomas newman, bossa nova, waves crashing on the beach

3 things I don't think you should listen to ever: promises made by politicians, britney spears, george w bush

3 of my absolute favorite foods: roast beef, steamed lobster, ebi tempura

3 things I'd like to learn: bartending, mandarin, the kfc original recipe

3 beverages I drink regularly: water, coffee, beer

3 shows I watched when I was a child: uncle bob's lucky seven club, voltes v, sesame street

3 people I tag to do this crap: vera, tatin and dj

innocent children are what threaten israel

2006-07-31T10:47:00.000+08:00

i couldn't help but sneer upon hearing the news that lebanon refused to welcome condi rice for her planned second visit to the country, allegedly to work out a deal for an immediate cease-fire.

serves her right. serves america right.

i believe america has forgotten the true definition of immediate. 19 days since and 600 plus deaths after, the world has yet to see an upcoming resolution to the crisis.

"sustainable peace" is what they want before a cease-fire. how can one achieve "sustainable peace" if they can't begin with the first step of a cease-fire?!

somebody stop me. i might just enlist myself with a neo-nazi group. israel is getting on my nerves.

i am filipino. catholic at that. i live thousands of miles away from the middle east and yet i find myself harboring the mildest feelings of hatred for both america and the israelis. i have no relatives there (in lebanon). nor do i have any acquaintances to write to. aren't those whose families are being torn apart, massacred and wiped out therefore justified to raise their fists and retaliate?

america wonders why terrorism thrives. israel cries at anti-semtism. are these two governments just going to sit and scratch their heads within the comforts of their missile protected palaces as they give the world more reason to breed greater hatred against the west?

civilians are being slaughtered in cold blood. there is no excuse, no sound argument that would justify the prolonging attacks of israel. i detest them. they are arrogant. downright contemptuous. america watches on proudly and silently as its pet bulldog, israel, rips the life out of innocent children and peaceful citizens.

they are asking for big trouble...

here are some pictures from this site, showing israeli kids signing missiles intended to kill the "terrorists" in lebanon, which they have all but accomplished to obliterate.

the UN has, for the second time in this century, failed to maintain the peace (the first time being the US invasion of iraq). one should ask if the institution merely represents the core practice of two-faced diplomats whose own agenda merely probe beneath the surface of pleasantries, cabernet sauvignon and foie gras parties. they are impotent fools whose choice of words matter more than the soul of their statements.

somebody open a bible to revelations... we may be approaching the end of days.

24 hours in a day

2006-07-30T17:05:00.000+08:00

last friday, dozens of people were killed... shot. blown up. gassed. poisoned.

from unknown passers-by to a former US president, lives were ended aggressively. it all ceased at 7:00 am. however when i glanced at the clock, it was actually half past midnight (saturday) and i had spent the last 11 hours in front of the tv, watching the season 5 dvd of 24.

for more than a year, i survived without having to bathe in the radioactive light of a television. and i never missed it -- not once. perhaps it's because i was hardly home. or maybe i just never bothered to compete on selecting channels with my siblings who'd had the remote controls cuffed to their wrists anyway. (whoever has the remote is dictator.)

for more than a year, my sources of information were the internet and news magazines (as well as the unconfirmed gossips of chismoso / chismosa friends). and what i did instead to kill time leisurely was to read a whole pile of books which (due to the sheer number i had bought, borrowed and inherited from other friends) had been collecting dust to mingle with the words inscribed on its covers. (i am a hardcore bookworm, and i do not deny it!)

for more than a year, this has been my lifestyle... until i got the flu about two weeks ago.

so now the tv is back in my life. not that i intend to make up time with it. although its gripping magic had me transformed into a couch potato for a day last week.

24 is one of very few tv shows i do look forward to watching. and the latest season had me spinning in my seat as i witnessed a variety of murder, treachery and politics, all in one show. well, it really wasn't only one show since i did a marathon of about 20 episodes... so i guess i should say that these were all present in 20 shows.

a superman contender and modern-day mcgyver, jack bauer has again saved the day (for america). this time against a russian separatist group and ... a powerful political figure in the white house (i dare not spoil it completely for those who have yet to watch the season). with no opportunities to rest or take meals, jack was amazingly equipped with an unlimited supply of energy and a bladder that can hold the crap of six elephants (not having to go to the toilet once). alert, mindful and sharp, he managed to figure out solutions and strategies that got him accomplished in his mission. he continued to prefer working underground occasionally, despite the times he was completely backed by authority, and his friends remained unwavering in their loyalty and confidence in him. i wouldn't be surprised if towards the final final end of this tv show, they reveal that jack is actually a super cyborg. luck is incredibly on his side.

many twists kept me gripped. a lot of complex relationships among characters revealed. there were flaws in some of the solutions to situations, although if the director had the best solution made, the story would have ended in less than the 24-hour setting. so i guess, i just have to accept those flaws as less remarkable efforts to keep me entertained longer.

although, kudos to the writers... 24 continues to be in my (very short) list of tv shows to watch.

between humanity and aspired divinity

2006-07-24T17:46:00.000+08:00

oh, the irony...

so the office declared work suspension today after lunch. normally such news would have me packing up in a blink, but since i'm meeting friends at mall of asia (5 minutes away from where i work) tonight, then i guess i'll have to spend the lazy afternoon in the office just the same. oh joy, oh joy (with two lumps of sarcasm). if only the suspension could wait till tomorrow...

the ocean seems to be calmer now. i wonder if the storm has already dissipated.

---

was disappointed to find out this morning that an old college friend, ms. philippines-universe 2006 lian ramos, had not made it to the top 20 in this morning's competition in the US. several sites have recognized her as one of the potential contenders in this year's pageant. and she's constantly been in the favorite lists of many online forums. it's a shame the judges overlooked her exotic beauty (and i mean exotic in a good way here) during the actual run. she was, however, able to garner the ms. photogenic award (which i had believed that recipients of such special awards end up in the top 10 or 20 somehow).

just the same, congratulations, lian! the experience alone should already be a priceless reward for you!

---

i have a generic face and i guess i just have to accept that...

it gets annoying to have to put on someone else's face. younger or older, it doesn't matter who came on this earth first -- it is I who gets compared to the other person. "hey, has anyone told you that you look like (insert name here)". they should try this instead, "hey, has anyone told you that (insert name here) looks like you?" haha. i guess it's an ego thing for me.

T texted me last night regarding this look-alike game i've been playing. it got me thinking on some of the recent comments i've received, and i had to do a mental count on this interesting feature i've just come to embrace (sometimes with flattery, mostly with embarrassment). i will add to this count as they come (from memory and actual finger pointing) -- obviously a bored man's activity.

BA = 1
JH = 2
DO = 3
BR = 13
JG = 20ish

but yes, D, i finally got promotedfrom you-know-who. hahaha. and proudly so. :)

claustrophobia

2006-07-21T16:31:00.000+08:00

no windows. tight space. jammed doorknob. the smell of mothballs pinching the edges of my brain. eerie silence. i feel the darkness creeping down my throat, filling my spirit with confusion and fatigue. makes no difference if my eyes are wide open or shut tight. faint white stars are hovering about. i'm in a vacuum of contradictions, absorbing both east and west, positive and negative, past and future. have to get out of here...

i don't think we're in kansas anymore, toto

2006-07-11T16:43:00.000+08:00

today at the penthouse, ten thousand boiling kettles just landed from mars. i had a symphony of whistles and wheezes accompany me through the lazy afternoon work, as i daydreamed of halloween masks and shrieking kids. manila bay was restless and i was half expecting the water to recede and reveal its filthy rock bed prior to the violent arrival of a deep-impact-type tsunami. (it'd be totally uncool to be hit by a manila-bay tsunami -- garbage, oil leaks, body parts and what not.) i know there's a storm coming, but it was ridiculous... booms, bangs and whees made me believe our floor had been torn out from the rest of the building, hurtling towards a distant country like panama or costa rica.

as office mates increased the volumes of the rock music and jazz rhythms that blared silently in their ears, the walls groaned with the banging of doors and windows. the ghosts were awakened and were not content with listening to the eerie music the wind was brewing. they joined in, rattling all the earwax out of the crevices and caves in our heads. it was like a cut scene from the movie, twister.

of unnecessary head-butts and trophy have-not's

2006-07-10T13:42:00.000+08:00

congratulations to italy for garnering the prestige of being the world's best football nation -- this year! though between the two teams that fought for the coveted cup, i had my hopes for another french victory that would see the streets of paris celebrating as it had eight years ago.

exiting captain, zidane, disappointingly had to leave a graceful football career with a red tag tied around his neck after he threw materazzi a head-butt. a questionable way to bow out of the world stage. i wonder if he ever imagined the curtains closing -- around him instead of before him -- when he envisioned this inevitable day.

---

another disappointment, but not entirely surprising, nadal was unable to defeat federer over the wimbledon championship. he started off very poorly, allowing the swiss to completely conquer the first set with 6-0. he recovered during the second set but hardly gave federer enough reason to give-in as he fumbled his way around the court during their tie-breaker. nadal skillfully took the third set for himself, although not without much challenge from the graceful swiss. the extended fourth set clearly defined the champion leaving the young spaniard still longing for mastery on the grass for next year.

on to the US...

genuine sick leaves distributed here!

2006-07-10T13:07:00.000+08:00

so i'm a walking carrier... like you really mind!

forget having to come up with lame excuses such as diarrhea or visiting the dentist. i'm offering the flu -- for free! and with it comes a genuine reason to file sick leaves for long weekends that surpass the extended holidays this government has ever declared!

sit with me. over a cup of coffee. so much exchange is just waiting to happen. i'll talk, you capture the virus.

of green beans and cleaner basements

2006-07-08T17:45:00.000+08:00

you'd think that after you religiously took your vitamins and worked out like crazy in the gym that the probability of getting sick would be reduced to nil.

in the dark, early hours of wednesday morning, my nightmares told me i swallowed a bean as big as a needle's point. and i awoke, shivering under two layers of blanket and comforter, convinced that if i retrieved the green-glowing stone which intruded my system then all would be back to normal. i was curled up the whole time, attempting to preserve self-generated heat by keeping my surface area minimized so that what i gave off, i absorbed back. the cold air blew down steadily and my bed continued to heat up as the nightmares persisted long after breakfast had been served and offices had considered in-transit employees late for the day. the stone remained unseen and i called in sick (which extended -- welcomely -- to the weekend).

if my memory serves me right, this had been the longest time i had to stay in bed, not counting the chicken pox and measles attacks of my childhood. the four days saw me fast asleep, watching TV or catching up on some overdue reading.

while it was terribly unpleasant for my body to experience rapid fluctuations in temperature throughout my brief vacation from work (swinging two degrees up and down as easily as punching the numbers on an a/c remote control), i was quite entertained and rather pleased to be in the company of harry potter, an ecstatic italian crowd, a rather disappointing portuguese football team and the superb lineup of finalists from wimbledon.

---

moving to some good news, G is finally back. and we welcomed him to a much cleaner and organized basement this time. he returned last wednesday, the first day of my undesirable flu. so i had to watch them work together from a slight distance. he's still a bit disoriented, but definitely better. welcome, home, bro!

copo do mundo semis

2006-07-02T16:17:00.000+08:00

so they were right in expecting an all-european semis for the world cup this year. i recall reading somewhere that there has never been a non-european country to actually win the cup when held on european soil. either that, or at least it's been decades since one succeeded. i forget exactly which. well... still holds this time.

adeus, brasil. i was looking forward to a match between the defending champions and their mother country, portgual. none of that now.

vai ganhar, portugal!

allez gagner, france!

we shall see which of my two favorite european countries will proceed to the final round.

trip to the moon ii

2006-07-01T23:38:00.000+08:00

the moon turned out to be on earth. and while it still gave off the familiar, soft light that accompanied lovers during seaside strolls and illuminated the paths of thousands of lost travelers at night, it was less spectacular up close. there was always something higher... farther... and much, much brighter. in fact, there's still the sun. and there are billions of other brighter and farther stars separated by silence and the constant creation of time.

i stayed there briefly. yet longer than i had intended. i was nervous during the first few rotations, but soon got my balance on an environment of unusual conditions; gravity for one thing. luckily i didn't need a special suit for the occasion. so i walked on the surface unprotected. but i was not exposed to any kind of harm anyway. not even radiation.

i was informed that the moon will glide whole in september; its fullness revealed for the world to see. here's hoping my footprints will be visible enough to be noticed and appreciated, but not too visible to be scrutinized.

which reminds me. i planted a moon rock last april. i'm expecting it to bloom in september. seems there's a possibility of seeing two moons in approximately three months time. that would be a sight.

trip to the moon

2006-06-28T18:12:00.000+08:00

pull out the page. what's another day ripped out of my life?

spent the day at the penthouse. layers and layers of messages were exchanged across an ocean, though they were compressed into short and vague phrases. that was fun (thanks, M); it was like squeezing a spring snake into a can of peanuts you offer friends and relatives. then you eagerly watch their eyes widen and hear them shriek with surprise when they realize the only nuts they'll be chewing will be the ones in their heads.

"peanuts, tita?"
"thank you, hijo..."
click, BOING!
"hay dios mio, espiritu santo!"

(oops, sorry. no peanuts there, tita)

as i spanned through the continental US, digging up clues on where to find the golden fish, i was chatting away with friends. i couldn't concentrate on the work. the fishes were interesting, but they were fueling my appetite more than they were feeding my brain. i hope i won't get slaughtered in tomorrow's meeting. else i might find myself swimming in a pool of soy sauce with lots and lots of green wasabi.

---

i was invited to visit the moon tonight. and i decided to go and give it a shot. it's not everyday one gets a chance to see the world from the sky... (apparently, the penthouse is not high enough.) i've attempted to fly to the little rock a couple of times before. and on those few occasions, i ended up embarrassing myself; a big red EARTHLING glowing at the tip of my nose. of course, in perspective, i like being an earthling. i appreciate the quiet life. perhaps, if i make it this time, they'll learn how to appreciate earthlings on the moon.

the basement

2006-06-26T19:59:00.000+08:00

today, i had to go down to the basement and clean up the dirt which accumulated for more than a decade. it wasn't pleasant. but, admittedly, i got a mild sense of fulfillment doing so. i might have to stay here a couple of days -- hopefully not longer. though the corridors seem clearer now, the dust was only swept into separate mounds of homogenous years.

my folks have been at the job for quite a while; and it's only today i realized that if i continue waiting for the perfect time before i impart myself to others when they need it the most, then that time -- that picture perfect moment that would slap me hard on the face -- may just never arrive. so the brooms were brought down together with fresh rags in a pail.

god's fingerprints were all over the place; their marks visible on each foundation that kept the structure stable and safe. on the other hand, the walls and ceilings were vandalized by a trail of muddy hooves. and my brother, G, kept pointing at them in amazement. G was actually the reason we all had to go down and clean up the neglected mess. after searching for him throughout the world, we found him in the basement one day, sitting on some old boxes, trying to recall how the place had looked like when it had been tidy and organized. that's when my folks started scrubbing the floors as G sat in a corner, sometimes engaging my dad in a theological conversation, often staring at the hooves and the fingerprints, silently attempting to decipher their origins. mom constantly distracted him from his thoughts, urging him to help with the chores. he obeyed on occasion. and when he did, he did so with much vigor and enthusiasm. but he would tire easily. then he'd sit back in his corner beside the boxes.

this morning, when i skipped work and joined the tired troops below, G complained of a headache. he was inhaling too much dust in his corner and he let the cobwebs reside on his shaggy hair. mom and dad were thinking of sending him back upstairs, but G insisted he wanted to stay on. so i asked him to help me clean my corner of the basement instead. we got to talk more than we had ever talked before. and the empty pages of photo albums were filled with memories not exactly suitable for kodak moments, yet genuinely amusing to recall: parental discipline, sibling squabbles and adolescent debates. our childhood fights made us form temporary alliances against one another (there are six of us), before new alliances and vendettas were shuffled and remade; those brief skirmishes constantly changed and shifted the blocs of power among us before our parents carried out a cease-fire or peace treaty. we later concluded, with smiles on our faces, that our past was mostly of kicks, punches and screams, aside from the years we walked around the house like ghosts, oblivious to the other spirits that haunted the place.

unknown to me, my folks decided to send G upstairs anyway. his headache wasn't going away, and all the activity was draining the energy out of him. he needed rest. so when it was explained to him why it was best to go up and come back down when he was feeling better, he calmly agreed. though i sensed the heaviness he felt with that decision. get well, G, we'll see you back down here soon.

tonight, without the comforts of a complete bedroom, i decided to sleep in the lobby. armed with a small pillow, a short blanket and a bedtime prayer, i seek refuge in the night for much needed rest. tomorrow, it's back to the basement. give it a couple more days and the place will see itself transformed and back to useful. the penthouse can wait. the elevators are accessible anytime.

"return of the come back"

2006-06-25T17:51:00.000+08:00

seven months after, the need to blog and spill my brains out to the wired world returns. here's to a fresh attempt at documenting a life no photographs can capture and not enough words can ever define.

---

speaking of "return of the come back", two of my friends are making come backs of their own; familiar encounters with "ex's". is my generation slowly undergoing a rewiring of grey matter which translates to a sudden need to reconnect with ex-loves? priorities are reshuffled. and i suspect that our minds are secretly -- and treacherously so -- preparing for a life of stability (and maturity?); shifting away from our carefree outlook of the not-so-distant past.

as we speak, wedding invitations are carefully being printed out. where names of strangers and older relatives were once written, is now occupied by the delicate and elegant scripts of the christian names of high school buddies and college acquaintances.

these "come backs" could be permanent after all... time to head to the dry-cleaners.